Floating in a sea of sadness
Looking for an isle of gladness
Waves of emotion
A vast ocean
No land in sight
Only endless night
Context: Ten years ago, almost a year after Nina died I often slept in my barn office fighting emotional darkness. Woke up one morning with the first sensations ones of pain – physical and otherwise – again. Curl into a ball under the covers and try to shake it off enough to motivate the day and the words above come to me in bits.
Took me a bit today to realize why I was feeling so adrift and emotionally awash this morning. And then I looked at the date to check about an upcoming appointment and realized the dates next week and remembered what this time of year means and how our bodies know and remember our grief even if our minds have shied away from remembering.